Do not focus on your weakness, focus on your strength. Then the good point will develop more and more. Think this way, if you had not truly received anything, you would have left me long time ago, no need to wait for 12 years. Okay? So, you must have felt happiness inside your heart. Your soul must have known, understand? Sometimes the mind sticks together with the job you do. For example, after you go home, you still think about work. At night, you would think about what you did during the day. Just ignore it. Let it think. And you recite the (Holy) Names.