جشنِ عصرگاهی به افتخار زادروز شاکیامونی بودا (وگان)، قسمت ۶ از ۶

(Our next performer is from Âu Lạc [Vietnam]. She will sing a song called “Happy Buddha’s Birthday,” “Kính Mừng Thầy.”)

(To conclude this evening’s performances, it will be from Seoul, Korea, and the title is: “Gangnyeong Talchum.”)

Thank you. When I first came to Korea for a lecture, and after my lecture – thousands of people, just about three, four thousand, the first time in Busan – and they loved me so much; they all came to the stage and shook my hand, and all these old ladies even. And the hand, when they touched me, it was like iron... (Iron pliers.) What do you call “kìm” in English? (Iron pliers.) (Pliers.) The pliers. And even the hufa could not take it away. So when they held my hand like this, the hufa had to take one finger out, one after another like this. I know why. Because they keep jumping up and down like this, and they exercise every day like this, and wow, my God! When you go to Korea, remember to wear gloves. In case they take it, you just take the gloves away and run.

(Well, that was our final act for this evening. Dear Master, we would like to invite You to the stage to cut the [vegan] cake.) Ha! Ha! For you, you mean, to eat. (Our brothers and sisters have been very considerate; there are a thousand plates all to go around.) OK. Why not? Thank you so much. It was very nice. Ah, yes. Thank you so much.

God bless your (vegan) cakes. Don’t light too many candles. People will know how old I am. After the 30th birthday, you should make only one symbolic candle. That is the universal policy. Don’t you know that? I thought you’d know better since you are European. You don’t know anything better. Look at that, now that everybody knows how old I am now. It’s too late, already put there. OK, never mind.

I’m not going to blow the candles. I know it is tradition to blow out the candles, but I won’t. Because it’s bad to blow out the light. Besides, it is unhygienic. If I blow the candles and my warm mouth water might contain some germs or something, then everybody will have it. Even though it is an enlightened germ, it’s still a germ. Bacteria is no good for you. So, I suggest that every time you have a birthday, you should not blow the candle. Because everybody will have to eat your mouth water, and it’s full of bacteria sometimes. So I’m not going to blow it, just cut it.

(Happy birthday to You Happy birthday, dear Master Happy birthday to You) Oh, Happy Birthday, Shakyamuni Buddha, not mine.