Whether men or women, they are all used to it. I only give because you ask for them. But this kind of behavior is asking for trouble for yourself. Do you understand? Take my (vegan) cakes and bring them downstairs and hand them out while winking and swaying around like that, how could anyone not become dazed? They are living Buddhas, not wooden statues, of course they can get heart trouble. A wooden Buddha has a wooden heart, so it does not feel pain. But these are real Buddhas. Then I had to step in and untangle everything. But untangling it made this person feel hurt and the other become sick. It’s like when you walk into a thorny bush and get stuck, trying to pull yourself out, you will inevitably get a few scratches. (Yes.) You’ll lose some flesh, some skin. And then cry and wail loudly. You know the consequences. When you do such things, that’s how it turns out.
How could men and women say to each other: “I’ll eat half and you eat the other half, OK?” Oh, my goodness! Why so romantic? Then of course it’s going to give off that kind of vibe. You all don’t pretend to be innocent, OK? (Yes.) Handing out love like that, you’d go crazy. If you don’t go crazy, the other person will, understand? So you should find something else to play with, OK? Don’t pretend you don’t understand what Master is saying. But when high-level Buddhas and Bodhisattvas show love, it’s different. Whoever receives that love feels light and at ease. It’s not like being dazed, like someone who’s lost their soul, with eyes half-closed that just can’t be opened. Spending all day in a dreamy, dazed state, and wherever you go, you keep calling out her name. You keep calling that one person’s name nonstop, and eventually you become completely lovesick and out of your mind.
But when we love Buddhas and Bodhisattvas, or when They love us, we feel different. It feels light, with no attachment. You long for Them, but you’re still lighthearted and doing perfectly fine. But when you long for those people, it feels like “dying in the soul” a little bit. “Half of my soul is lost” and so on. If it’s lost, just find it again. When Buddhas and Bodhisattvas love us, nothing is lost; instead, it becomes increasingly abundant and plentiful. It keeps growing. Our soul feels full of vitality. We feel our wisdom expanding more and more. The compassion in our heart grows broader and deeper over time, becoming like the compassion of the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas. That is real Love. (Yes.) When you encounter that kind of Love, worldly love feels so small. Sometimes when we feel bored, we just try things for fun out of curiosity… but after a while we get tired of it too, right?
So, that’s why in the past, when the Buddha was still in the world, people left their husbands or wives to follow Him. Sometimes people hated Him, saying He was seducing their wives or husbands. But there was no seducing at all. He already became a Buddha – free and at ease on His own. Why carry extra burdens to make things tiring? He had five hundred, five thousand wives that he left behind. Who would want to seduce that unattractive woman? With missing teeth too! Even the old left home to follow Him. Back then, once your teeth fell out, that was it, you couldn’t replace them. Only nowadays are people starting to get dental implants. (Yes.) In the old days, when teeth fell out, they were gone forever.
So in the past, those palace concubines and beauties, remember? When they were in their 30s or 40s, they were already dismissed and retired. Then the king would select new concubines, young and still with teeth! Because life back then wasn’t like now. The food and drink weren’t as abundant or nutritious as they are today. And for example, when people got sick, the medicine wasn’t like now, it was probably much more scarce. There were also many restrictions, for example, inside the palace, you couldn’t do this, couldn’t do that. Sometimes when a doctor came to treat a palace lady, he wasn’t even allowed to see her face, only her hand. And sometimes he wasn’t even allowed to touch the hand directly, he had to use something else. Using a piece of wood to feel around – how could he possibly diagnose the illness properly? Sometimes they tied a string to her wrist, and the doctor would pull the string from outside the curtain. Pulling the string from behind a curtain, how could the illness ever be cured like that? How could he accurately check the pulse and know the exact condition?
There were many such things. Because in the royal palace, there were so many strict rules. For example, no one was allowed to touch the king’s wife. If someone did, three generations of their family would be executed. Oh my God! Just touching a bit of skin and three generations get executed. That’s extreme. Just an example. Like in Thailand in the old days, no one was allowed to touch the king’s wife. If you touched her, you’d be executed. So there was one of the king’s wives – the wife of King Rama V – she was pregnant, and her boat capsized. She drowned because no one dared to rescue her. It was that tragic. Sometimes the law can be very blind, right? At that time, no one dared to save her. If you saved her, three generations of your family would die. Who would dare? Better to just stand there, close your eyes, and cry. Everyone loved her, but no one dared to save her. And the king loved her very much too. Oh, he cried terribly. He himself had established that law. But a law is just a law… The law was meant to say that one should not show disrespect to the queen, no teasing, no improper behavior, no flirting with the king’s wife. It wasn’t meant to say that in a life-and-death situation you shouldn’t save her. At that moment, it’s human to human – not king and subject anymore. But the people were too afraid. It became rigid – rigid rules.
Honestly, every country is like that. Sometimes laws are made only for bad people, to restrain those with bad intentions. If we are good and have good intentions, we must do what is right. Even if we die, we still must do it – not stand there talking about laws. Just an example. Like two monks walking past a river, and they see a girl about to drown – they must rescue her. (Yes.) Standing there saying, “I am a monk. I can’t touch a woman.” If she dies, what kind of compassion is that? (Yes.) Just an example. What Buddha or Heaven would punish monks for saving a drowning girl? (Yes.) But if we don’t save her, Heaven and Buddha will probably punish us – because we have no compassion. For considering a human life smaller than our own reputation. Smaller than our so-called outward purity. When someone is sick or dying in pain, what are we still thinking about? What desires are there to worry about? Right? (Yes.) Even if we had to go to hell, we should still save them. Just an example.
So the immense Love, the noble Love of Buddhas and Bodhisattvas is like that. If we say we are disciples of Buddhas and Bodhisattvas, then in any situation we must respond only with Love. Using Love does not mean that if our child behaves badly – stealing, hitting others – we don’t scold them. We must discipline them. Understand? We let them know: “What you did is not good. From now on, if you don’t do that again, Mom will give you money, Mom loves you.” In some cases, give them new clothes. “But if you behave like that, you may be tied to the bed leg.” Just an example. They must know they have a choice. “It’s not that Mom always forces you to take punishment. But now, do you choose punishment or nice clothes?” for example. We reward them when they do good, and punish them when they do wrong – then they will understand and grow up to be good people. If good and bad are treated the same, how will they know the difference? They are young; we must teach them. So love has two sides like that. There is both strict love and indulgent love – not just indulgence alone. If you only spoil someone, the child becomes a bad child.
It’s not that Ms. Ching Hai now says we should spread love everywhere and just let children do whatever they want. Sitting cross-legged all day while the child hits the neighbors’ children or steals from others and we say nothing – then they will grow up spoiled. (Yes.) Already spoiled, they will become even worse. Then they’ll become thieves, even murderers. They’ll go to prison – will we be happier then? Do we truly feel love? Do we genuinely love them? Ah, that is false love. Right? (Yes.) So love doesn’t mean you always have to indulge everyone, you have to consider the situation. Of course, you can’t just dominate your neighbor’s children. But our own children, we have to take care of them. (Yes.)
For example, with outsiders, Master is very, polite, very gentle, because they’re not my own “children.” Whatever they do is their business. I have no free time to worry about them. Because they only come and see me once in a while. Even if I teach them once, that’s not enough for anything. (Yes.) And even if I teach them, who knows whether they’d listen. They didn’t come and ask me to teach them. When they do come and ask, then I’ll teach them right out. And when that time comes, don’t cry about it. I’m not being polite just for the sake of it. If someone does something wrong, I’ll say it right away, that’s my responsibility. Because you came and begged me to do that, right? (Yes.) You honor me as your Master, then you expect me to teach you properly, don’t you? If I don’t teach you properly, you’ll blame me. So I have to fulfill my responsibility, right? (Yes.) Ah, that’s different. So don’t say things like, “Oh my goodness! Why is She so sweet when dealing with outsiders? But with me, She’s so harsh and bitter. I’ve already come here, eat vegan, even sleep on the floor like this, yet She doesn’t praise me.”
If we didn’t love our own children, we wouldn’t be afraid they might ruin their own lives. If we don’t teach them properly, later when they go bad, people might beat them or even kill them, and then all we can do is cry. The old bamboo cries for the young shoots. So we have to take care of them because we love them. Because we want them to have a peaceful, beautiful, and noble life, which is why we teach them principles and moral values. When they make mistakes, we need to scold and correct them to make sure they understand that it’s not right. “When you do something like that, you have to face this kind of punishment, so you’ll remember and won’t do it again.” For example like that. It’s not that we want to harm them or make them suffer deeply, but we need to let them understand clearly that this action will have that consequence. Bad behavior goes together with this kind of punishment, tied to that post, for example. Just as an example. And good behavior goes together with nice clothes, with love and affection, with a mother’s hugs and cuddles, or maybe with some money or new treats. Let them understand what is good.
It’s the same way people train the animal(-people). When they train dog(-people) to track people, like going after criminals, they train them the same way. When the dog(-people) find the item that belongs to someone, they get a reward. If they do it wrong, they have to do it again and again; and sometimes they won’t be fed. That way, they learn. Next time, they know. If they do well, they get food, rewards, and affection. But if they do it wrong or misbehave, they are punished and may go hungry. For example. We let our children know they have a choice. “It’s not that you can’t be rewarded. You have to choose your own path.” If they do this and this, these wrong things. You tell them in advance that these are not allowed. Stealing is not allowed. Swearing at people is not allowed. Being disrespectful to elders is not allowed. “If you do that, you will bear this. It’s up to you. If you choose to do it, you’ll have to accept the consequences.” Not going out on Sunday, just staying home to study and do homework and chores.
We have to make them understand that bad behavior comes with suffering consequences. And whatever good things they do go hand in hand with happiness, fulfillment, and honor. That way, over time, they’ll get used to it. It’s not about punishing them overly harshly or starving them, but just enough to let them understand. Since they’re young, they learn very quickly. It’s not that you should punish them excessively. It depends on the situation. Don’t make them suffer so much that they’re crushed by it; that’s not right. But you must let them feel love. You can’t just keep punishing without any affection at all – that won’t work. Otherwise, they’ll think you hate them, understand? So whenever they do even a little something right, you should reward them immediately, encourage them.
Love doesn’t mean “anything goes.” For example, it’s true that Lord [Jesus] or the Buddha spread Love to everyone. But when Their disciples make mistakes, They still reprimand them as usual, you see? Yet when He was nailed to the cross, He didn’t scold those who nailed Him. There was no need to, because they were simply doing what they believed they had to do. They chose the thorny path, the impure path to walk. Their time had not yet come to be spiritually transformed by Heaven or the Buddha, so they chose that road. It’s like the soldiers who were ordered to carry out the crucifixion; they had to do it. It wasn’t necessarily that they wanted to be cruel. Just as an example. So Christ or the Buddha did not curse those people, because they didn’t believe in Them. They didn’t come asking for Their teachings. But with disciples, the Masters are strict as usual. That’s how it is. In the past, even the Buddha scolded His own son Rāhula. He told him, “If you do not study well and do not cultivate yourself properly, you will be like a foot-washing basin. It cannot be used to hold fine delicacies and precious dishes for people to eat; instead of being placed on the table, it is set on the ground, in dirty places, just for washing feet.”
That was because, in ancient times, the custom was like this… People didn’t really have shoes back then. You understand? Only the wealthy could afford footwear. Those who practiced spiritual cultivation usually walked barefoot, practicing the ascetic way. That was the discipline for spiritual practitioners; the renunciants walked barefoot. It was simpler that way. If you had to buy shoes wherever you went, where would you get money for that? And in those days, shoes were mostly made of leather. Many of them did not want to wear leather anyway, so they went barefoot. When they walked barefoot and came to someone’s house, outside the entrance… In the old days, many people went barefoot simply because they couldn’t afford shoes. Before stepping up into a house, there would usually be a basin prepared for washing feet, or at least a tub of water placed there. Anyone entering would dip their feet into it. Just a quick dip – sometimes only enough to shake off a few grains of sand. It wasn’t necessarily very clean. After all, how could a quick dip really make them clean, right? Even when we wash with soap and scrub thoroughly, it’s not really clean. But it was symbolic at least; better than bringing mud and dirt into someone’s home.
Photo Caption: “Protection Is Always Appreciated”
