There’re too many things; working for myself, taking care of myself and I hurt my hands, my finger and it’s still not healed yet. (Oh, Master.) Ah, it’s my fault, it’s my fault. I banged my hands on the wall. (Oh! Oh, Master.) I guess I was worked up with all this radiation inside and also with the news about all these horrible images of the suffering animal-people and humans. (Oh, gosh.) But I did it like an automatic reaction. (Yes, Master. Understand.) I did not even think about that. I was just so anguished.
So, before, I had only a handbag. When I was a Tibetan monk or Chinese monk, I had everything in one handbag. (Right. I see.) I told you. And in the Himalayas, I had only two pairs of Punjab-like, tunic-like clothes. And it was so easy to move everywhere, and I did enjoy it more.
Nowadays, if I have to move, oh, my God, it takes many days. (Oh.) So many things. Several computers, many telephones, cameras for different purposes. (Oh, wow.) For news and for taking photos, for different things. (Yes, Master.) Even if I don’t use it every day, I have to have it with me. (That’s right, Master. Understand, yes.)
And also, loudspeakers. Because sometimes they make the USB too low volume. I have to turn it on by the extra loudspeaker. The computer is not enough. (Yes, Master.) And many other things. Oh, God. You don’t have any idea. And now they bought me a grounding mat. That’s also heavy. One more extra thing. Anything is heavy for me. Anything is an extra burden for one person alone to manage, or to pack, and to unpack. (Yes, Master. True.)
And not just the computer, the monitors are big. (That’s right, Master.) But I need that, otherwise I have to sit next to the computer. And even then, it’s not as clear as the computer monitor. I have to sit very far now. Even just a few days ago, I still sat in front of the computer because there are two computers. One is for the news, and I didn’t think of plugging it into the monitor and so I sat next to it. Oh, God.
Sometimes, you just work too hard, you forget, forget how to take precautions and to take care of yourself. (Yes, Master.) Luckily, I took a bath and I saw my muscles are running away, so I begin to think a little bit of myself. My body needs to last a while. (Yes, please, Master. Yes. Please.) And that’s why I take care of you. Not because I care about you, I care about my work.
No, I do care about you a lot. I think of how you have to work very hard every day, always in front of the computer. And I keep thinking, thinking how to make it better. That’s why you have to use whatever instruments we have. (OK, Master. Thank You, Master.) And we’ll have to think of what else to do.
I wanted to ask, in your meditation place, do you have tiles or you have wood? (Wood. It’s kind of, yes, wood.) OK, no good, no good. Then you can’t have this mat. Because if you have the mat on the wood floor, it doesn’t work. (Oh.) It works on the tile floor, and it depends on what tiles even. So you have to have a tile that’s suitable for it, number 1. Or number 2, you have to run a wire, connecting with the earth outside, or some metal thing outside. One wire has to go out if it’s not a suitable tile floor. Thus, if you run the wire outside, there is a risk of lightning. (Oh.)
So, either you are hurt by the radiation or you’re burned by lightning. I don’t know what choice you want. You tell me what choice? (Not lightning.) And there are many of you, and each one runs a wire, all your meditation is full of wires. I imagine all these wired-in yogis. Oh, man. What a modern monk you are. Modern yogis.
And I was thinking, maybe we have to build a mud house for you. No wonder, when I lived in India, I always lived in a mud house or just cement, and I was always healthy. (Oh.) And in Âu Lạc (Vietnam), not many people are sick, except those mosquito sicknesses, those pandemics or epidemics, flu and all that is going on all the time. (Yes. Master.) They’re healthy because they live in mud houses. (Ah, right.)
My house in Âu Lạc (Vietnam) was a mud house. (Oh. Interesting.) We use special mud, like clay, and then we use it to mix with the rice straw, dry, after harvest we have a lot of dry straw. They give it to the cow-people also, they use it for houses. Very cool. And on top we have like a thatched roof. (Yes.) And it’s very cool all summer and winter, all the doors opened anyway, that’s what my house was.
And I used to criticize my parents. I said, “We have money, why don’t we build a brick house and red tiles on top of the roof, like the neighbors, looks more posh.” (Yes.) I was a kid and I was thinking, “Oh, my parents, they’re saving money, saving much.” But sometimes they don’t even have that much. It depends on the time of the war.
So mostly we lived in mud houses. And even the old door, my father retrieved it and brought it back and put it into the new mud house. I said, “Ma, that looks so poor.” Old door! He said, “It’s good like that so people don’t envy us.” Oh, he was so wise. (Yes, Master. That’s true.) And now I know, I’m doing the same stuff.
Now I wish that my floor is not wood. Well, I took half of it out. (Oh.) The day before, I worked very hard like a laborer. I took all the wood out, I took all the stones underneath out, I left no stone unturned, just to de-radiate myself. (Wow, Master.) So, now I have just a bare cement floor which is not very even or flat. It is all dirty looking because of the paint and all kinds of things. (Oh.) It’s not like the cement that they make flat for you. (Oh, yes. Right.) No, it’s just cement, concrete, but then when I step on this cement, there’s no radiation, almost zero. (Oh. Wow.)
So, I work far away from the computer and put my feet on the cement. (OK. Oh, wonderful. Good.) I keep washing the cement many times, it’s still very dusty when I walk on it, my feet become either black or white, depends on where. But I’m not washing anymore; I’m tired. I’m truly tired.
There’re too many things; working for myself, taking care of myself and I hurt my hands, my finger and it’s still not healed yet. (Oh, Master.) Ah, it’s my fault, it’s my fault. I banged my hands on the wall. (Oh! Oh, Master.) I guess I was worked up with all this radiation inside and also with the news about all these horrible images of the suffering animal-people and humans. (Oh, gosh.) And I just banged my hands on the wall and I scolded myself a lot. I said, “You’re silly, you need the hands.” (Oh, Master.) But I did it like an automatic reaction. (Yes, Master. Understand.) I did not even think about that. I was just so anguished. (Yes, Master.) I screamed and I banged my hands and one is bruised, (Oh gosh.) the other one cut. (Oh. Oh, Master.) Just one finger, but those two fingers that I need the most – the thumbs. (Oh!)
So, I have to be careful, otherwise it won’t heal. When you wash the vegetables and all that, if it’s always wet, then, it won’t heal. (Yes. That’s right, Master.) I am very careful, but still, it’s wet sometimes, and you can’t help it. Sometimes I remember to wear gloves, sometimes I do not remember. But I hope it’s getting better. (Yes, Master.)
You know why I scolded myself? (Why, Master?) Because I hurt my hands and I did not want to treat them. (Oh.) I thought to myself, “Like this, I will understand a little bit more, even how the animal-people suffer and how the humans suffer.” (Yes, Master.) So, I did not want to treat them, even with simple balm. And later, I scolded myself, “You need your hands. Just do it.” (Yes, Master.) Sometimes I can be so silly like that. I say, “Silly. You need your hands. You must treat them.” So, I began the treatment. And it’s OK, it’s working. (It’s good to hear, Master.)
Why did I tell you about these things? What was that that made me tell you this? (Talking about the floor, having to change the floor and earth.) Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. OK. And I worked with my unwell hands. (Oh.) That’s what it is. I left no stone unturned really. (Oh, gosh.) They put some stones and bricks underneath to make the floor even. (Yes, Master.) I moved them out – half of the house. Luckily the house is small. I mean, it is a small bungalow. So I moved almost half of it. (Oh, wow.) I want to move also the inside, but I think inside I can put the mat instead, just one little mat and I walk on it instead, I meditate on it instead.
But I’m risking the lightning. Because the wire has to go outside. (Oh, yes.) Last time I asked one of your brothers, I talked to him about this problem. I told him to do more research so that we can have better protection. (Yes, Master.) And then, he said to me he has also other equipment like some metal tape or something.
And then he had to run a wire outside also. I said, “Hey, that is bad if lightning. You’re not afraid?” He told me, “Ah, if I go Home, I go Home.” I said to him, if he goes Home, I also go Home. It’s so easy just to go Home. Why not? But I said, “Don’t you dare. I need you still. Cannot go just like that.” (That’s right, Master.) Otherwise, I would go myself too.
I also feel awesome about him because looking squarely in the eyes of death. But it’s not like that, we have to work. (Yes, Master.) You have security, you have safety, you know where you’re going, you have the Master, you have the Teaching, you know you are good, so you’re not afraid of death. But we have to work for people who are afraid of death still. (Yes, Master.) And all these suffering, anguished animal-people in the factory. They’re burning them alive, they’re roasting them alive, and they cut their throats and all that. Oh, terrible humans! (Yes.) How can anybody do these kinds of things? Just for money, and they don’t feel anything. My God. They’re alive, kicking...
Next question, please. Did I answer your question? (Yes, Master. Thank You.) Otherwise, I’ll be screaming and crying again. Tell me.
(Master has been in a retreat for 2-years plus. Is Master lonely?) No, no time. (Aw.) No time to be lonely, baby. No. How? (That’s right.) In fact, when you’re alone, you feel better. (Right. Yes.) I was more lonely when I was with the crowd or with other people, even attendants. (Yes, Master.)