(My second question is how to cut off the energy of other people missing me?) Others… longing for others? (Yes. This problem has been troubling me, even before initiation.) For how long? […] Does he miss you? (And I miss him, too.) Then why don’t you two get together? (I am married!) Oh! So silly. (Yes, so silly.) […] Stop those silly thoughts. OK? (OK. Thank You, Master.) This is being unfaithful to your husband, and also harasses the spirit of the other person, which is bad for you too, the greed. No matter what, you’re already married. Your husband is good now. Right? OK. Then you take good care of yourself. Take good care of your husband. Repent more often. (Yes.) OK? (OK. Thank You, Master.) It’s hard to find a good husband. We had a lot of husbands in past lives, not only that person alone. Do you want me to help you find more of them? (It’s troublesome. I’m keen about canceling the present one.) Cancel it. Cut, cut, cut, cut. (OK. Thanks. Thank You, Master.)
In this kind of situation, most of us are only making trouble for ourselves. Really making trouble for ourselves. Because it’s useless! We have to continue living, continue living, continue being immersed in the present condition, only then can we find true happiness for ourselves and for others. Husband, children, and the previous lover. If you continue like this, you are harassing each other. And it’s also not good for your current marriage. It means you’re not faithful to your husband. Maybe your husband is aware of it in his heart, he feels frustrated, but cannot prove it. Then both of you are frustrated, and you’ll drift apart from each other, which is not good for your marriage. And if it’s not good, you will be the first one to suffer, then you’ll regret it. For example, if your marriage is wrecked, your husband leaves you or you leave him, what’s good about that? And then your children, and then… there’ll be a lot of problems, right? Otherwise, if your husband agrees, you go ahead and leave him and marry that person. Do you want it to be like that? If not, then you have to make up your mind to cut it. “Ka Cha!”
You know what is good for you, then you should be determined to protect it. Don’t think that since you have it, it’s wonderful, and then fail to treasure it. If you don’t treasure it, after you die, after you lose it, you’ll be in great agony. Then you’ll be in torture throughout the rest of your life. It’s not good that way. Since you have a husband, or wife, or new girlfriend or boyfriend, you have to treasure the person you have now. You have to discover his good qualities and treasure him more, love him more, and support him more. Then both of you will get to love each other more and more, and you’ll feel the present one is even better than the previous one. Because you did not take care of him, you did not water it, that’s why it cannot grow bigger, then you become more and more… you’ll compare and think, “The previous one is better.” The more you compare, the worse you feel; and the worse you feel, the more you compare; and the more you compare, the more you suffer, and then you’ll lose both of them.
Even if with my permission, if you leave your husband and marry the lover of your past life, it may not be good. Because your affinity has already been severed, and that’s why you encountered another person and married him. If God truly wants it this way, you two would have encountered each other and got married again. Now you are just hanging on, struggling, and lingering on. Then you’ll lose both. And you’ll not be happy. It’s not a wise thing to do. Is it not so? (Yes.) Maybe in just a few days after getting married you’ll start quarrelling fiercely. Sometimes we linger on because we’re far apart, so we tend to fancy that he is so good, so good, so good. But when you meet each other later, you find out about his personality and temper. He is very… with money, how say? Stingy. (Stingy.) Later he may lose his job, and he is very picky about food. Oh! And then, no more romance. Stop it. Just treat him as an older brother or younger brother. Finished. Stop there. OK. Don’t look into the eyes, and don’t talk … coy. Just call him older brother or younger brother, or brother initiate. Talk decently.
Have only one husband in your heart, you’ll know what’s real happiness. Sometimes we tend to think, having many girlfriends or boyfriends will make us happy, but you’re wrong! You don’t know what love is. When we love only one person devotedly, we’ll be really happy. Then when you’re happy, he will also be happy, and when you both are happy, you’ll be even happier with each other. Only then will you feel that this marriage is truly correct. If you don’t take care of it, then you’ll lose everything. If you get married with others afterwards, your mood will not be steady; your conscience will not forgive yourself, and you’ll feel frustrated about the new marriage, which will hurt that new person, it will not be good for both of you. When three people all feel frustrated, it’s nothing good. I tell you. Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut! And now, now, now! Forget about the past and also mind not about the future. OK? Understand?
Any more questions? No more? (Master.) OK. OK. (Master, the sister who asked the question just now about her second pregnancy is my wife. She’s been pregnant for five months. I think…) Yes? Which one? (The sister who is having her second pregnancy is my wife.) OK. (May I request Master to name our future baby?) It’s her. Are you her…? She’s your… (She’s my...) Do you want a male or female name? (I don’t know yet.) How can I give you the name if you don’t know? OK. I’ll give you a neutral name. So, let me think. So difficult. It’s your baby and you throw the burden on me. Strange. (It’s Master’s “baby.”) Call him… Call him “Ming-Ming,” OK? (OK, Master.) Ming-Ming sounds good. (Is the “Ming” the “Ming” of “tomorrow” in Chinese?) The “Ming” of brightness. The “Ming” of brightness. If it’s a boy, call him only “Ming.” (OK.) If a girl, call her “Ming-Ming.” They’re both cute. (OK. Thank You, Master.) If they are twins, each one of them shares a “Ming.” Oh, it’s so difficult. I have to do everything, including fortune-telling and…
Give it to her. (Thank You, Master. My child… We’ve been initiated for eight years. My whole family are initiates, very… Master takes care of us a lot, I’m very grateful. A couple of years ago, my son served in the military and violated the precept, and so his ID was changed to a red one. He has been wearing it for more than two years.) Yes? (He’s been wearing the red ID for more than two years. The red one. He has greatly repented. When I came here for the retreat this time, he kneeled in front of Master’s picture and kept on repenting and crying.) OK. OK. OK. Tell him to get back his original ID. (Yes. Thank You, Master. Thank You, Master.) You’re welcome. You have to apply for it yourselves. Tell your Center, “I have deeply repented. I am truly repentant. I am definitely very repentant. I am very, very deeply repentant.” Then kneel in front of him (contact person) to repent. Show him, and then he’ll return to you the original ID. Originally if one has repented after committing a mistake, after six months he can take back his ID. Maybe it’s because you never said anything, you’ve remained silent. Yes? You have to repent to them, instead of repenting in front of my picture. My picture doesn’t talk. She just smilingly sits there. It’s of no use. (He did write to our Center and the answer from the Center was they’ll consider about it after we come back from the retreat.) OK. OK. (They did say that.) Alright, then you tell him… (I was thinking, today, as his mother, I plucked up the courage to beg Master.) OK. OK. Two years is enough. Enough. (Thank You, Master. Thank You, Master.) Two years is already too long for making a mistake only once. (Thanks. Thanks.) You have to think it over that you don’t make a mistake again. Your Center is so strict. (Yes, yes.) Master will not say anything. (Thank You.) (Yes, yes.) OK? (Thank You. Thank You, Master.) You’re welcome. (Master takes care of everything meticulously. Thank You.) You tell your Center that Master said OK. (Yes. Thanks.)
Who else? OK now? Say it. She still has something to say. (I’m sorry, Master. I really want to ask this question. My boyfriend got to know Master and got initiated because of me. Originally, I was very happy. However, later there was a little crack in our relationship. Then I felt very… I felt I was deeply hurt. I think that he, as a fellow initiate… Why would a fellow initiate still hurt me like that? My heart has not been able to calm down.) Why did he hurt you? Did he find another person or what? (No. Our relationship was originally very good. But then later, it became, seemingly, not good.) Became cold? (We often quarrel.) What happened? For what? What do you quarrel over? (Because of family business. When his family and my family get involved, things become complicated. We have often quarreled over the business of his family or of my family. And so I feel… Every time after the quarrel I felt greatly hurt. Then I would feel very sad. But I feel… He told me that Master said my mission this life is bringing him to practice spiritually, which made me wonder why? I kind of feel… Now that I’ve put so much emotion into the relationship, in order to bring him to spiritual practice, why did it end up like this?)
Are you blaming your family? (I…) Both families of yours. Now you know the reason already. You need to talk to him. Is he here? (He’s in Taiwan [Formosa].) You tell him that you two should not fight because of others. You should recognize that the problem is with others and not with you two. Love him more and talk to him gently, saying that you still love him, like him, and your relationship is still very good. Of course, you both have your own parents and families. Of course there will be quarrels. Mostly family quarrels happen because of… the two sides. How to say “in-law”? (Relatives by marriage, family and friends, family members.) (In-laws, relatives by marriage.) By marriage? (Relatives by marriage.) Relatives by marriage. You have to see it clearly. Have to recognize the “enemy.” Have to know where the problem is. If you can’t fight with them, let it go. Don’t take it on yourselves and fight with each other as a substitute. You two have to recognize the situation. Make it clear to him. Each time after quarreling with others, you go back and tell him, “We shouldn’t fight over this and that misunderstanding.” If he cannot let it go, it’s OK to have a little quarrel. But later you have to know where the problem is and if the problem can be reduced.
Over what do you normally quarrel? Fight over what? Give me a couple of examples. Then I can tell you. (Now because his father has an extramarital affair, he has to stay there to help settle his family matters, and often… if I gave any opinion, he would say, for example…) You shouldn’t do that. (Yes. He felt that, for example, he had been scheduled to come back to the U.S., but now, because his family problem has become complicated, he has to stay there for long, then we are far apart.) Understand. (There’s no way for us to communicate at all.) Understand. (Even if there’s any problem, we can’t discuss.) Understand. (And so, I often complain to him or the like, then he thinks that I don’t understand him, and so…) When will he be back to the U.S.? (I don’t know. He said that he’ll be able to come back to the U.S. only after he has settled all the matters, which makes me feel as if…) What kind of matter? (About the extramarital affair of his father.) How can he handle it? (I have no idea. But he said…) How to take care of it now? (He just wants to stay there to help his mother.) Because his mother is in great suffering. (Yes, and then…) Really.
Alright. I tell you if he doesn’t come back to the U.S., and you miss him very much, why don’t you go back to Taiwan (Formosa)? Because he has problems to take care of, while you don’t. He has matters to take care of now. If you really want to help him and miss him, you go back and accompany him and help him, don’t fight with him. He’s very upset now and has already sacrificed like that for his mother. You should understand him. If you miss him, go back. What for are you staying here? And why do you want him to come back here? Since one of you has to move, then you do it. Because he now has troubles, and needs help, and there’s no trouble on your side, why would he come here to help you? He cannot forsake his family. He’s a good son, a filial son, for which you should be happy. If a son isn’t filial to his mother, then he’s not a reliable man. He’s so filial to his mother, so you should be happy. It means he understands women. In the future he’ll not do this to you, have an extramarital affair. Because he knows how painful it will be. Understand? He’s a very good man. Now he has trouble and struggles, you should go back and help him. If you can’t, call him as often as you can to encourage him, saying, “I love you very much, and I understand you. You stay there to help your mother. Come back when you’ve settled it. If there’s anything I can help, tell me.” Only this is the right way. Don’t blame someone who is having troubles and struggling. Alright I? (Yes.)
(Master, it’s like this. If I go back now, my parents will oppose greatly. They feel that I’ve just started here.) Yes. (I am starting my work.) Yes. OK. (I found a job just after graduation.) Yes. (And so it’s difficult.) OK. That’s why I told you if you cannot go back, you call him and encourage him. Talk to him often and say, “I miss you very much, and wish to go back to help you. But I’m afraid that if I go back there, my parents here won’t be happy. I’m not sure if you’ll be happy after I come back or if I can help with anything or not. And so at least we communicate with each other.” Support him, support him fully. Don’t blame him. Don’t ask a lot of questions.
He’s already frustrated, suffering a lot. He can’t help because both sides are his parents. Whatever help he can offer to any side is not good for the other side. Being a son, he’s already suffering, so don’t push him further, which will only add to his pressure. Maybe he is also missing you, but he is in such a situation, if you ask him to ignore his mother and come to you, it’s not a good thing to do, and neither would he feel secure or stable. Even if he comes back, he can’t love you wholeheartedly. And so, there’s only one option for you, and that is supporting him and helping him. (OK. Thank You, Master.) Fully support him. “Whatever you do is right. You are the one I love most. Whatever you do is correct. It’s just that I miss you very much, so much so that sometimes I think about silly things. I’d love to have you here, but I know it is not good for you, and so I sacrifice myself. I do miss you so much, but you’ll come back only after all is settled. Let’s often keep in touch. If there’s anything I can help with, it’d be better if the two of us discuss together.” Tell him like that. Don’t push him like saying, “I know better. What I say is correct.” Don’t! He might accept your opinion or might not. It’s all alright. Because he’ll think that it’s his family business, and you, as an outsider, may not quite understand. And if you keep opposing him, he will not listen to you even more. He has no other choice now, and you still push him to come back, which he cannot, and so he can only disregard you, no? He couldn’t stand it if it’s too complicated. OK? (Thank You, Master.)
Otherwise… I know. Wait a bit. Otherwise, you go visit him from time to time, and then come back, and go again. Then your parents would be happy, and he’ll realize your support. Every time you see him, only give him love and support in a gentle way, no more pressure for him. If it were you, suppose you are in his situation, how would you feel? How would you choose? Understand? Remember, only love and support, and no more opposing, no more complaints about anything. He is doing right. OK? It’s you who are wrong. I understand that you love him very much. When we love someone, we don’t want to separate, but our world is like that. Once you’re born, you have parents. Without parents, where did he come from? Therefore, if we have this, we don’t have that. We can’t have them all. OK? He’s very good.
Photo Caption: God Is the True Artist!
