It’s very difficult for our mind to really be humble, so that our soul can grow big, can be free from the clutch of this ego and the mind, the trap.
It’s whatever the subconscious feels that he deserves, he will get it, the subconscious. It’s because the subconscious contains all the bad and good information of us for this lifetime, carried over from the last lives. So, whatever is destined for us in this lifetime is bound to happen. The Quan Yin Method cleans also a lot, and helps you to smooth out the path, but it doesn’t mean you can avoid it completely. If it’s small, it’s easy to clean; but if it’s so great, such a great and very burdensome karma, then it takes longer time. Very difficult. So, you understand, if you have an illusion like you go into an ashram, and you will just be peaceful and do not much, think of Master, meditate all day long, maybe you can get it. But, I’m not sure it will help you in the progress that much.
There are two things difficult to overcome: your past life karma for this life, and above all, last but not least, your ego. The more burden your karma in the past, the less the ego can bear. The ego has been taught that he is a doctor, he is a PhD, he is a professor, he is a lawyer, he is somebody. He knows what to do, he knows this, he knows that. And the ego has a lot of friends or supporters who have the same idea. So, the ego has been very comfortable in that zone. Now, suddenly the ego has been exposed to some different environment where the ego becomes nobody, a small potato, perhaps. So, of course he doesn’t like it. Nobody likes it. Very difficult! And the more he doesn’t like, the more he revolts. The more he revolts, the more conflict. The more conflict, the more revolt. Blee, blee, blee, blee, blee... Yeah, blah, blah! See that? He is used to blah, blah, blah, blah, and I say blee, blee, blee, he doesn’t know what that is. So, I have to say to him “blah,” and then he understands. Just one word, blah, and he understands the whole blee, blee, blee. See, the ego is like that.
The ego is nothing but the ignorant trace of our human nature, of the mind, of the brain. The trace of our ignorance, of the mind. It’s not us. It’s not our real Self. It’s not our soul. But pitifully, we cling to that ego. It’s “me,” you hurt my feelings. You scold “me!” Me! Nobody ever has talked to me like that before! I am Smith Gordian, I am somebody! But you don’t know, you are not Smith Gordian. You are bigger than that! You are great! You are the most magnificent creation that God ever created. So, it doesn’t matter if the whole world scolds Smith Gordian; it has nothing to do with you! Even if the world kills you, it has nothing to do with you. Let your body die, so that you live! Let your ego go, so you can be free! Do you understand or not? (Yes.) Yeah, yeah, I know you understand. Because I speak English, and you know.
Theoretically, you understand everything absolutely, before I even say it. But, wait until you practice it. Wait until you practice it, yes. How many times in the retreat, you heard people complain to me openly about how she had been treated badly from the moment she arrived! How he had been made to pick up his luggage from the car and then bring it back in the car again and bring it out again, because the ashramite didn’t know what he was doing! The stupid resident, whoever that could be! And how many times you heard complaints even about the toilet and the bathroom, and I’ve heard it all! Coming to a retreat, you’re supposed to leave your ego at home - you’ll meet him later! Believe me, nobody wants your ego. Even if you give it for free! Nobody buys it! Because they have their own! Theirs is bigger than yours, often. If they clap too loud, you wait until they get over their excitement, then you translate. Otherwise, your poor Spanish speaking people don’t understand. You translate again, that sentence. Yeah, all right.
It’s very difficult for our mind to really be humble, so that our soul can grow big, can be free from the clutch of this ego and the mind, the trap. Imagine! Imagine how free you can be if the whole world stands in front of you, throws dirt at you, throws filth at you, screams at you, calls you all kinds of worst names in the world, and you feel happy inside. Imagine! Imagine that person. There was a Master in the Muslim spiritual history. I’m going to tell you how free He was. At that time, it dates back many centuries ago, Muslim was still, of course, forbidden, like any other new thing, a new religion or new interpretation of the old doctrine. Anything, new movements, were always forbidden anywhere, and above all, the Muslim movement at that time in history. So, all the masters of the Muslim faith at that time were very careful about what they were saying, so as not to offend the believers of the different interpretation of the old doctrine. Although the Muslim masters at that time, they call it Sufism, at that time, they didn’t teach anything outside of the doctrine; they were just more enlightened, and they explained it in a true way.
And there was one Master who was not afraid because He knew too much, He knew everything, so He just decided to tell the Truth. He went into the marketplace and announced it to everybody: “I am the Truth! I am That!” And He understood, like Jesus died for the sins of the people, He understood that. So He also was willing to die for the sinners - not only the believers of Sufism at that time, but for all the people, whoever possible. He knew that if He proclaimed the Truth, He would die, He would be on the gallows. All the teachers, contemporary masters of Sufism at that time, warned Him of that, and He knew it. One master told Him that, “Soon, You will redden the gallows with Your own blood if You talk like that.” But He still did it, and He said, “Come, all of you, please kill me, and then you will be blessed, and other people will be blessed also. I’m not afraid to die for you.” So, of course, they killed Him. Many people didn’t want it, many people in the government refused to kill Him, but one new Prime Minister was eager to prove his power. He decided to kill this Master. I forgot his name; it’s in Islam. It’s difficult for me to remember. So, all His disciples and friends and so-called previous teachers came to Him and said, “Please! Can You change Your sentence? Just say something else, then You will not die, please! Say You meant something else, say You were mistaken, You made a mistake, You said something mistakenly, You did not mean that. Then, we can protect You.”
But He even went out and talked louder: “I am the Truth! Listen! I am the Truth! I am the only Truth!” So, the Prime Minister imprisoned Him and then killed Him. But it was a horrible death. First, they cut His hands off. And He still talked; He still sang the glory of God and the Truth. And He put the stump of His hand all over His face, and people asked, “Why? Why do You put blood on Your face?” He said, “Because I’m losing blood so much, my face becomes pale; I’m worried people think I’m afraid, so I put some color on it.” And next, they cut His legs off. And He said, “I have something which doesn’t need hands, doesn’t need legs but can go anywhere. Try to chop that.” That was what He said. And later, they plucked His eyes out. Everybody screamed. But He said, “I have a body that doesn’t need eyes and can see everything - try to pluck that out!” And later, they wanted to cut His tongue out, too. Before that, He said, “Please, let me say something first.” And He sang all the glory of God and the Truth. And then they cut His tongue out, and He could not speak anymore. But He had never been afraid - maybe pain, but not afraid. And they let Him hang on the wall of the city like that for three days, before they killed Him, before they chopped His head off.
This is very extreme. The time of His time was like that. There are always one or two persons who go against the Truth, or a group, a small group. That’s enough to damage or kill the Master. The time of Jesus, you also know. The head of the government of that region, of that time, did not want to kill Him. But people complained; the ones who had interest in something else, pleaded with the government at that time to kill Jesus. So, he said, “I wash my hands of this man’s innocent blood.” He let Him be killed, but he knew Jesus was innocent. And same, same with that Muslim Master that I have told you, Jesus also was not afraid. And even at the last painful minutes of His life, blessed the person, the criminal next to Him and comforted him. See, all of these Masters, They had been known and beloved at that time, and They continue to be beloved in the hearts of people throughout history, because They are so great. Their ego is zero. They died, but They live forever. I don’t ask you to imitate these great Saints. I am just telling you, it’s difficult to be great. You have to truly forsake everything, especially your ego. I wanted to train many to become Quan Yin messengers, but one by one, they had to go. It’s very difficult to conquer yourself. Very difficult! Only when it’s tested, then you know how big your ego is.
One time, somebody asked me why I used to be more humble than now. You’re wrong. With you, I don’t want to be humble. You know me. I am not here to show you my humility so that you can praise me because I’m the most humble person or Master in the whole world. I am here to make you humble, so that you’ll be great, by whatever means I can. If you live with me, if you go out with me, see how I deal with other people, then you would know if I am humble or not. With you, you cannot tell. Outside, I respect the very, the lowest rank of the police. I respect the taxi driver. I respect the waiter. I treat them like my best friend. I am very humble.
Yesterday, my driver did something, a wrong turn in France. I don’t even know what it was, but the police stopped us. They were very stern at first, but because I was very humble - I said, “We are sorry if we did something wrong. My driver is tired, and we’re from outside of France, and we do not know the road. And we probably overlooked the sign, and we are very sorry. If anything I can do to make up for the mistake - if we have made a mistake, please forgive us, and we will mend it.” And he immediately softened, and he said, “Oh, are You lost? Where do You want to go?” So, I told him where I wanted to go. I just said the next city, and he said, “OK, You turn this way, You go straight, and You’ll see the sign.” No ticket, no harsh word of... nothing! So, when we are wrong, we say, “Sorry!” No matter who we are. It wasn’t my fault, of course. I wasn’t driving. But I knew my driver must have done something, that the police stopped us. I said, “Stop, roll down your window and wait and show your driver’s license.” That was all we did. And he showed the driver’s license, and meanwhile, I talked to the chief, outside, I walked out and said, “We’re sorry. Have we done something wrong?” He said, “Yes! It’s interdit! Whatever, whatever...” “Interdit” means “Forbidden!” The way we did. I said, “Oh! Very sorry! Very sorry if we did that. Very sorry! My driver’s tired, and...” I talked to him in his language. Important! But later he knew that I speak English, so he spoke English to me, and he showed me the way and everything.
So, if you were with me at that time, you would see how humble I really am. Because I was really humble. I don’t pretend. Because if we are wrong, we are wrong. Even if my driver was wrong, I was wrong too. We were in the car together, I could not say, “I am innocent, it’s him, it’s him! You punish him! Nothing to do with me! I sit there, I’m innocent!” You can’t do that; you’re together. So, I said, “We.” “We are very deeply sorry! We didn’t mean to.” And then he softened, he smiled, and he showed me the way. Humility has to be used in a different way, in a proper situation. You can’t just be humble all the time! For what reason?