Do I look awful today? (No. Very beautiful.) There’s another one. (Over there.) Where? (He’s over there.) Yeah. Everybody loves you. Everybody loves me, baby. What’s the matter with you? Won’t you tell me what did I do to offend you? Alright, alright. You know what, you know what. How is everyone? (Fine.) Surviving? (Yes.) I think you’re happy to go, at least… (No.) No, at least you’re satisfied, no? (Yes.)
I have really tried all my best these three days. And I have no guilty feeling whatsoever. So whenever you go, you just go. You know what, I really tried my best as far as my physical body and mental “body” are concerned. Sometimes I’m “lazy,” yes, for sure, but not in these three days, not in these four days. Every day, interviews, journalists and disciples, and then meditation and fax, telephone, all kinds of miscellaneous and all that. And here and there. And then today’s party. And then afterward the journalists. And I had to see some of my sisters and brothers. And now I see you. And in a short while, after I leave you, I have to see more journalists. I’ve become like a big shot now. All the journalists want to talk to me. I don’t know why. Well, it’s certainly good for my ego, but bad for my body. Oh, my goodness, my goodness. If I knew that I was born to do this job, I would never be born.
But never mind, never mind. Whenever I’m with you, I enjoy it. Just when I’m not with you, when I’m not forced to be with you, I just don’t want to. I just don’t know why. Not that I don’t like you, but I have no yearning for anything. But when I’m with you, I also do not want to leave you. And when I’m not with you, I just don’t want to be with you. I don’t mean I don’t want to, but I don’t think, I don’t think that, “Oh, I want to see the disciples. I must see them.” I don’t think anything like that, but… And sometimes… I have to tell you that sometimes I don’t even think I want to see you. I mean, I don’t like to gather people and be in the public like that. Not that I don’t like you. It’s a different thing. I just don’t like gathering and people and all that kind of thing. But when I’m with you, I just feel it’s difficult to go. It’s… You have the same problem? (Yes.) Oh, fine. So it’s very easy to solve. So, when we are not together, just don’t want to be together, and then we don’t have to be together.
How did you enjoy everything? (Very much.) Very much? It’s not bad to be together sometimes. (Yes.) It’s really not bad. It’s good, so we come home feeling a little bit more strengthened. And then maybe we can do something for the world. (Yes.) Yeah, there are so many things to do. Actually, I don’t know if we can do much, if we can do much at all, but we try, we try. For example, the refugees’ problem, I think it’s very, very difficult, very complicated. Complex things, not easy. Not easy. From all sides; very complicated. But still, I still want to help them, because if I don’t help them, I can’t sleep. So, this is a problem with us, like every other thing. We do it more or less because of ourselves, I think. Of course, for the people, but because if we see them suffer and we don’t do anything, even though we know we try our best and it might not help, but if we don’t do anything, we cannot be happy. Right? (Right.) So, that’s why we just have to do it.
Actually, you are doing a lot of work, and as I have said today, I just represent you to receive all these ephemeral, illusionary rewards, which sometimes tire me out and embarrass me. But never mind, it is a very small portion compared to the benefit that the world will get through these awards. Not we get, because we don’t need any award. And also, I really didn’t want to go. I really didn’t want to go because I care nothing for all this. I really tell you the truth. Do you believe me? (Yes.) Yes, you do. Definitely, you believe. I believe that you believe me. Because you know it, right? You know it. What do we need that for? But, for all this trouble and a little embarrassment from me, at least you had some good times, and the people here have sown some good deeds. And at least we have gathered here and prayed for them. So, everybody has something out of that. And perhaps I have something too, whether I like it or not, or I need it or not, I still have something, to be with you and to know that we are doing the right thing, and that the people recognize the right thing, eventually. It doesn’t matter how long it takes. And that also gives us encouragement to continue to do good things for the whole world. So, in that sense, it is worth it. It’s worth it. It’s worth your ticket money. (Yes.)
Now, did everybody get a red envelope? (Yes.) The (Lunar) New Year’s money you got, everybody? Anybody who doesn’t have, raise your hand. Oh, where were you? Alright, Tong. (Yes.) You have extra for them? (Yes.) You prepare, please? (Yes.) OK, now, later you go out. You take one envelope, one. Maybe somebody took more than one. I don’t think so, I’m just joking. I believe your honesty. Just probably sometimes newcomers, and she didn’t count it yet, the newcomer. Like, the one who comes just for today and not for the retreat. So, the amount was not fixed for her. So probably she made a mistake. But she has some more for you. Maybe you didn’t get it, so she just collected them. So, whoever didn’t get the envelope, please get them.
And whoever didn’t shake my hand, please forgive me. Alright? And don’t write “IOU” papers, because actually it’s just a gesture of love and yearning, but we don’t really need that. We’re grown-up people. We don’t even need to touch to know that love is there. But sometimes because we’re human beings and we have the physical body so we want to kind of touch, but we should sometimes grow out of that. I didn’t, but you should. I’m smaller than you, I grow slowly. You’re big, you grow fast.
And for those I have scolded, or displeased, please forgive me, it’s (Lunar) New Year. If you get angry with me, you get no good luck. How about that for a “threat”? I’m a very “poor, small” woman. No good to take revenge on me. So anyhow… I have a “bad” temper too. Maybe it’s my “bad” temper or maybe it’s your bad karma. So just say [it’s] my fault, OK? Just say [it’s] my fault, then it’s fine. But nevertheless, you must understand my position and your own personalities and your own garbage-collecting habits. You know, you bug me sometimes, oftentimes. And I must say, I also have patience. Not very much but… Not very much patience, but I do have some. Not that I was born with it. I learned it with having too many “children.” That’s the only thing that I must keep: Patience. So now you also be patient with me, please, sometimes, or with some situation or any situation.
We are very democratic, but sometimes the team also has limited power, like you. So, every time when you start to complain, please ask yourself whether you have done anything for anybody yet before you complain that people don’t do it for you or don’t do it enough or don’t do it well enough, or don’t do it big enough or too much, etc., etc… OK? It’s easy to complain. Easy to complain. I complain too. But to deal with outside people, I’m very patient. Like, I talk to the secretary of the secretary of the secretary of the doctor’s secretary. The smaller, the bigger the power. If they don’t let you into the secretary of the secretary of the secretary, then you’ll never get to the doctor’s secretary. They have a hierarchy. Oh, no translator? Only two, three, it’s OK? You’re doing well? Now no translator, only three left. Some of them have gone home. And somebody will scold me later and say, “You don’t have translation for me,” etc. Funny, do you remember the man who criticized that somebody translated not correctly? His English is lousy. Is he there? Your English is lousy, I told you. So, before you criticize somebody again, all of you, think about that. (Yes.)
What else do I want to tell you? I just blah, blah, so that you [can] see me. That’s all, really. There’s nothing more to say. Everyone is ready to go home. And me too. I don’t have any home. No fixed home, but I guess I’ll go somewhere. And depending on the situation. I’ll probably go to some country for the refugees’ issues. I really have no more enthusiasm that I will succeed, but I still do it until I can do no more. Because otherwise I couldn’t sleep anyhow, if I don’t do anything. Because they will call inside and they will disturb my peace. It’s not their fault. It’s just that I’m just super sensitive. I feel many things, and I see many things without having to be there.
Photo Caption: God Does Provide for All. Tks Hiers Grace!
