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Between Master and Disciples

Begin the New Year with Positive Thinking, Part 8 of 12, Dec. 31, 2005

Lecture Language:English,Vietnamese(Tiếng Âu Lạc (Tiếng Việt)),Chinese(中文)
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So anyway, he sat and kept drinking, drinking, and then in the middle of his drinking, he was already like how many fingers stuff. And then there were twins, two boys - twins came in and sat next to him and ordered some soft drinks.

Is it New Year yet? (No, in 20 minutes.) Twenty minutes, so we meditate, OK? (Yes.) (We have [non-alcoholic] champagne for the New Year, Master.) What? (We have non-alcoholic champagne.) (Non-alcoholic) champagne? After, no? (Yes.) Meditate for a while. Meditate with the whole world right now. Everybody is meditating in different centers right now.

Is it time now? (No.) (Have about two more minutes.) Two minutes? (Two or three, yes.) OK. At the time, you turn on the light. (OK.) We don’t have a fire, so we just turn on the light. (OK.) Get ready for the light. (We can count down.) Count down now. How is it? How many minutes? (This says still two.) (Two.) (Just one minute, Master.) Two or one? Two minutes, how do we count it? (We count down from ten.) The one minute. The first few seconds, we count. The five seconds after, we count. (Yes, Master.) Wait. Get ready, get ready. (It’s coming in one minute, Master.) (One minute now.) One minute. (Yes.) We count the last five seconds or… (Last ten seconds.) OK, you call me. (Yes, Master.) You tell me when it is ten seconds. Can you tell in ten seconds right there? (Yes, Master.)

(Countdown, countdown. Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, ...) Turn on the light. (...five, four, three, two, one!) Happy New Year! (Happy New Year, Master!) Everybody have. I have one already. Have fun. Have Fun. You don’t have a crown? Give him one. Give him a crown. (Bravo.) Nice, huh? Everybody have a cup? (Wow.) (Non-alcoholic) champagne as well. (Glasses, please.) One is missing here.

Happy New Year to you, Happy New Year everyone, Happy New Year to you. Voila! Try to get it! There! Behind there! Everybody gets one. Upstairs. Cheers! (Cheers!) (Cheer, Master!) Voila! (Pass it out. Pass it around.) Nice music. Cheers. (Cheers!) Do they have it upstairs? Upstairs. (Yes, they have.) No, I’m fine. It’s easier, huh?

My God! Another year. We’re getting older now. A lot of love. (Yes.) More love next year. (Yes!) I mean this year. (Yes!) (Thank You, Master.) Thank you. Thank you for your love! (Thank You for Yours.) Thank you for understanding what I’m saying.

(Master, where are Your boots?) Is there really no alcohol? How many fingers? (Where are Your boots? What happened to Your shoes?) I don’t know what happened. What kind of shoes is that? Wow! Are you sure there’s no alcohol in here? My God! I’m not used to this stuff.

There was a guy… you know all these jokes already, but I don’t know what else... So! There was a guy who came into the bar, and ordered ten glasses of whiskey, and he drank one by one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten - all gone! And then he felt a little tipsy. So he said, “Oh, too much. OK, bartender, nine, please, only nine.” So he put nine whiskeys. And then he drank one by one, and the nine were finished. And he felt kind of worse... “How many fingers?” “Two fingers.” “OK, don’t give me too much, just eight, OK, eight.”

And then one, two, three, four, five, ... eight, they’re all gone. He just felt more and more trouble. So he said, “OK, this time only seven.” And he drank seven, and then six, and then five. Also, five gone, and then four, and three, two, and then the last one he said, “Oh, only one this time, OK?” And then he drank the last one, the one and only, the last row. He said, “You know, I don’t understand it. The less I drink, the more I feel drunk.” Yeah, yeah. (Oh, my God!) (Oh, dear God!)

You know that joke already, right? I told you before. (No.) Some of you don’t know. Never mind. So just laugh for the rest. There was one old man sitting in a bar and drinking. The real champagne and alcohol, not like us; this is water juice, sparkling grape extract. So anyway, he sat and kept drinking, drinking, and then in the middle of his drinking, he was already like how many fingers stuff. And then there were twins, two boys - twins came in and sat next to him and ordered some soft drinks. And the old man kept looking at them all the time, the twins. Looking up and down, back and forth... And one of the twins said to him, “You’re not seeing double, sir. We’re really twins.” And the old man said, “Really? All four of you?”

There was a man who went to the pub, and drank, drank until he didn’t see anything anymore. And then he fell from the chair, and then from there he crawled all the way home. When he came home, of course, he fell asleep next to his wife. And in the morning, the wife was so mad. When he woke up already and sobered a little bit, and the wife was so mad. She said, “This is the last time. I’m going to file for divorce.” He said, “What... what have I done? What did I do?” The man said, “What did I do?” So the wife said, “Last night, you went to the Irish pub and drank again yourself until you didn’t know anything anymore.” He said, “I haven’t been drinking! I haven’t been there! Who told you? I was here sleeping next to you!” “Oh, don’t tell me about it. The owner of the pub just sent your wheelchair home this morning.” The evidence of the crime.

Some of the jokes are old, but never mind, It’s New Year - we can dig it out and laugh again since we’re drinking (non-alcoholic) champagne. Make sure that you don’t drink the real one. That’s why we have all these jokes, just to remind you. A nice reminder.

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