Maestra spune glume | Supreme Master Television

2025-09-19 872 vizionări

2025-09-19

“One of the patients was very worried and asked the doctor, ‘Doctor, are you sure? Are you sure it’s pneumonia?’ The doctor said, ‘Yes, why?’ ‘Yeah, because I heard of cases where a doctor treated a patient for pneumonia, but he (the patient) ended up dying of something else.’ The doctor said, ‘Don’t worry. When I treat the patient for pneumonia, he will die of pneumonia.’” You got that? “For sure

Sfinţii veseli, partea 6 din 11

30:59

Sfinţii veseli, partea 6 din 11

2025-09-18 987 vizionări

2025-09-18

It’s terrible. No, I won’t tell you this. There’s not much. Well, something maybe funny. “A Texas farmer was visiting an Australian farm for the first time. So he asked, ‘What’s that growing out there in that field?’ So the Aussie host said, ‘Well, them are watermelons, mate.’ The Texan scoffed at him and said, ‘In Texas, we grow potatoes bigger than that. And what’s that over there on those trees

Sfinţii veseli, partea 5 din 11

32:58

Sfinţii veseli, partea 5 din 11

2025-09-17 848 vizionări

2025-09-17

I told you that already, I’m sure. I’m sure I told you this [one], but it’s funny, so I’ll tell you again, in case. And beware when you go watch movies or in some crowded place. “There was a lovely and shapely young lady trying to board a city bus. But she was filled with packages and bags and everything, and she was wearing a very tight dress. So, it was difficult for her to step on the bus witho

Sfinţii veseli, partea 4 din 11

31:12

Sfinţii veseli, partea 4 din 11

2025-09-16 923 vizionări

2025-09-16

“A husband and wife were watching a movie on the TV the other night where the wife hired a private detective to follow her husband to see if he was in fact cheating on her. So, the husband asked the wife if she would ever do that to him. And she said, ‘Yes, yes, of course I would, but not so much to find out who was the other woman, but to see if I could find out what she saw in you.’”“Three men w

Sfinţii veseli, partea 3 din 11

32:47

Sfinţii veseli, partea 3 din 11

2025-09-15 1117 vizionări

2025-09-15

Asta este gluma mea, gluma mea proprie, gluma originală. Spune... „Un angajat se duce să raporteze la biroul șefului. El este vânzător. Șeful îi spune: ‘Hei, cum merge treaba? Cum merge cu vânzările?’ El răspunde: ‘Oh, bine, bine. Aproape 50% dintre oameni au cumpărat marfa noastră.’ El zice: ‘Da? Câți oameni erau?’ El zice: ‘Doi.’ ‘Ce? Dar ai zis 50%?’ El zice: ‘Da.’ El zice: ‘Aproape 50%? Cum se

Sfinţii veseli, partea 2 din 11

29:18

Sfinţii veseli, partea 2 din 11

2025-09-14 1140 vizionări

101

2025-09-14

(So, the second number of our program today is our Indian brother that will tell some jokes for us.) (And make You laugh.) […] OK. Let’s hear some Indian songs. (Jokes.) Jokes? OK. The Indian people have jokes? Wow, I missed something when I was in India then. I never heard any jokes in India. I always heard something like, “hey” or “chalo.” (We tell jokes, and everybody’s laughing.) OK. Yeah.Come

Celebrating Vegan Moon Festival with Master, Part 2 of 7

30:56

Celebrating Vegan Moon Festival with Master, Part 2 of 7

2025-02-23 2843 vizionări

2025-02-23

A blind man was sitting on a park bench. A priest sat down next to him. The priest was chomping on a piece of waffle biscuit. Taking pity on the blind man, he took out another biscuit and gave it to the blind man. The blind man ran his fingers carefully over the surface of the biscuit and several minutes later, he turned around and tapped the priest on the shoulder and said to him. […]I have a jok

Love Is Stronger Than Ego, Part 6 of 8

28:21

Love Is Stronger Than Ego, Part 6 of 8

2024-05-26 4792 vizionări

155

2024-05-26

A small girl was in church with her mother when she started feeling ill. “Mommy,” she said, “Can we leave now?” “No,” the mother said. “Well, I think I have to be sick.” “Then go out to the front door, around to the back of the church, and be sick behind a bush.” In about two minutes, the little girl returned to her seat. “Were you sick then?” her mother asked. “Yes,” the little girl replied. “Wel

Love Is Stronger Than Ego, Part 5 of 8

30:28

Love Is Stronger Than Ego, Part 5 of 8

2024-05-25 4699 vizionări

148

2024-05-25

Când (Domnul) Iisus trăia, El nu avea nici măcar încălţăminte. Trebuia să se ascundă peste tot, tot timpul. […] Şi apoi, după ce a murit, uitaţi-vă la câte biserici avem. (Da.) Goale, unele sunt goale, unele sunt mari şi goale. […] Noi le-am repara. Am plăti pentru curent, apă, şi mâncare şi le-am repara. Acesta este cel mai bun mod de a folosi o biserică, nu-i aşa? Mergeţi să vă rugaţi lui Dumnez

Ne bucurăm de o relaxare cu Maestra, partea 3 din 4

30:37

Ne bucurăm de o relaxare cu Maestra, partea 3 din 4

2024-04-06 4399 vizionări

125

2024-04-06

There was another doctor. […] So, one day, he was invited to come to a person who happened to shoot himself accidentally with an arrow while he was practicing archery. And he shot himself in his own leg. […] The arrow went deep inside and half stuck out and half was in the flesh. So the doctor came, took a knife, cut the outside half and then went home. And the patient, “Hey, hey, hey…!” […]OK, pe

The Holy Golden Mouse, Part 5 of 6

28:36

The Holy Golden Mouse, Part 5 of 6

2024-04-02 4068 vizionări

119

2024-04-02

OK, now! Let’s have some jokes. It’s some Aulacese (Vietnamese) jokes. […] Now, there was a Master, so-called Master. I don’t know, maybe a Supreme Master even. He was very virtuous, supposed to be, and also very clean, very pure, like you cannot offer anything to the Master, for example, otherwise, your ID card will be confiscated! […] So now, this Guru has a wife and kids and all that, and He is

The Holy Golden Mouse, Part 2 of 6

20:08

The Holy Golden Mouse, Part 2 of 6

2024-03-30 4450 vizionări

134

2024-03-30

So, it’s not like you can bring as much Power as you want down here. You have to cover it, use the Light to cover. Just like you put things in a bag, the fragile things in a bag. […] You can’t just let it all hang out raw. Then everybody will get shocked and die too, or burned to a crisp, because of the electricity power. And God’s Power is zillions, thousands of zillions of thousands stronger tha

Master’s Sacrifices for Love, Part 10 of 10

28:41

Master’s Sacrifices for Love, Part 10 of 10

2024-01-27 4683 vizionări

117

2024-01-27

Acest Maestru Nastratin, era foarte rău. A spus o glumă ca aceasta: odată, Nastratin s-a dus în grădina unui vecin, a luat unul dintre pepeni și l-a pus în geanta Lui. Și atunci, vecinul a ieșit și a întrebat: „Ce face pepenele meu în punga Ta?” Mulțumesc, iubire. Du-te și mănâncă acolo. (Da. Mulțumesc.) Și Maestrul Nastratin a spus: „Și eu am pus aceeași întrebare.” El era atât de drăguț. Îmi pla

Meditaţia în orice moment este mereu benefică, partea 11 din 12

34:34

Meditaţia în orice moment este mereu benefică, partea 11 din 12

2023-12-22 4803 vizionări

120

2023-12-22

These days I feel so much love. I don’t know what to do with all this love. I don’t want to leave, myself. I don’t want to go home, myself. […] So much love, don’t need anything else. “All we need is love.” That’s what they say. God. It’s really true. It’s really true. Nice. It’s nice like this when you have many hundreds of people, but you feel like one. Feels like together[ness]. How come this t

Follow My Example and Assist Humankind, Part 10 of 14

39:57

Follow My Example and Assist Humankind, Part 10 of 14

2023-10-27 4283 vizionări

131

2023-10-27

So every (marriage) system is probably also according to the custom of the situation, of the land that they live in. It did not necessarily come from the order of the religion, of that religion. Probably at that time, everybody must marry, and marriage was very highly valued in their custom, so, if this order goes against the trend of society, they might not be able to survive.You have enough food

The Virtuous Essenes, Part 11 of 12

34:00

The Virtuous Essenes, Part 11 of 12

2023-05-07 4709 vizionări

122

2023-05-07

I guess we all run out of juice, huh? OK, guys, every party has to end someday. Today, you got everything. (Yes.) You have (non-alcoholic) champagne, you’ve got chips even, and you got magic tricks. (Thank You, Master.) Go home, sleep! Got everything, and a lot of food still. Let’s call it a day and continue the whole year, happy! (Yes.) Maybe we’ll see each other some other day.You, anymore? (Oh,

Begin the New Year with Positive Thinking, Part 12 of 12

28:19

Begin the New Year with Positive Thinking, Part 12 of 12

2023-01-25 4131 vizionări

2023-01-25

A priest, drove a car. “Zig-zag, zig-zag.” So the police saw and stopped it, and said, “Father, have you been drinking?” You know, the priest. So, he said, “No, no. I just drink water, in the back there.” And so, the police looked in the back and saw a bottle of wine, not water. A joke? (She’s got a joke.) You got a joke? OK. Chinese or English? (English.) Good. (The car Land Rover, always can fin

Begin the New Year with Positive Thinking, Part 11 of 12

29:48

Begin the New Year with Positive Thinking, Part 11 of 12

2023-01-24 4278 vizionări

2023-01-24

He heard something, “Bang! Bang! Boom!” upstairs, very loud. So he asked his friend, “Hey John, what’s going on up there?” So John said, “Ah, nothing wrong. It’s usual stuff!” He said, “What do you mean ‘usual’? Why is it so loud?” He said, “No, it’s just my mother dragging my father’s clothes across the floor.” So he said, “But why, if it’s just a pair of clothes, why so noisy?” He said, “Because

Begin the New Year with Positive Thinking, Part 10 of 12

33:07

Begin the New Year with Positive Thinking, Part 10 of 12

2023-01-23 4314 vizionări

2023-01-23

Anybody have some jokes? Nice stuff. Tell me, tell me. Yeah, we tell jokes for New Year. We laugh for New Year. It's the best. All the stupid miseries, we leave behind. (Yes.) We begin New Year only with good things! (Yes!) Only positive thinking! (Yes!) Positive talks! (Yes!) Positive thoughts! (Yes!) Positive action! (Yes!) Yeah! Yeah, help Master!There was a man who sat in front of a house on t

Begin the New Year with Positive Thinking, Part 9 of 12

33:37

Begin the New Year with Positive Thinking, Part 9 of 12

2023-01-22 4536 vizionări

102

2023-01-22