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Between Master and Disciples / Buddhist Stories

Master Tells Jokes and Buddhist Stories: A Monk Called Celestial Jewels (Part 1 of 2) August 29, 2015

Lecture Language:English
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It’s about a wedding. A little girl attended a wedding for the first time in her life. The little girl whispered to the mother and said, “Mom, how come the bride is dressed in white?” So the mother said, “Yes, because white is the color of happiness. And today is the happiest day of her life.” Ha! You bet. That’s the only happiest day of her life. I think, I think, I think. I think. After that it’s another story. We don’t want to tell it here. It’s too long. Everybody knows already anyway. So it’s boring to repeat. Right. So because today is the happiest day of her life, and white is the color of happiness. So the child thought about this for a moment, and then asked again, “So why is the groom wearing black?” I think the groom knew in advance. From now on, from that day on, prepare. It’s fun. But how come everybody knows, and everybody gets married?

This is another story about children and God. The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At one end of the table, there was a large pile of apples. And the nun had posted a note on the apple tray, saying, “Take one only.” (Sounds familiar.) Sounds familiar. “Take one only. God is watching.” That’s the note that she wrote. And then the children, moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. So a little child had written a note, put on there, that said, “Take all you want. God is watching the apples only.” (Such a good one! That’s really funny!) Children, children, cute, cute.

There’s another story. “Saying grace before meals.” You know what that means? It’s like before you eat, you say, “Thank you, God, Buddha, Master…” whatever. So this is Sunday school. The teacher asked one of the kids, “Johnny, now tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?” “No, sir,” little Johnny replied. “I don’t have to.” And the teacher was surprised. “But you should. Why? Why not?” He said, “Oh, my mom is a very good cook.” He thought he has to pray so the meal tastes good.

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