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Laughter – Expression of Inner Joy, Part 3 of 3, Jun. 11, 2001, Florida, USA

33:51

Laughter – Expression of Inner Joy, Part 3 of 3, Jun. 11, 2001, Florida, USA

Because lately – it’s a joke, huh – because recently there’s so many reports in the newspaper about airplane crashes and people dying and all that, it’s very unreliable. So the scientists and the aviation company was cracking their heads to try to make a new airplane, which has no need for manpower, just all completely automatic and electronic, with computer voice and all that. So there was the fi

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Laughter – Expression of Inner Joy, Part 2 of 3, Jun. 11, 2001, Florida, USA

31:29

Laughter – Expression of Inner Joy, Part 2 of 3, Jun. 11, 2001, Florida, USA

A teacher asked a student again, “Do you believe in life after death?” And the student replied, “Yes, yes, I sure do, Ma’am.” And the teacher said, “Yeah, yeah, I thought you did. Because you know what? Yesterday you told me that you stayed home to attend your grandfather’s funeral, but today he dropped by to say hallo to me.”There was a kid going to school, rushing to go to school, and the mother

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Laughter – Expression of Inner Joy, Part 1 of 3, Jun. 11, 2001, Florida, USA

35:30

Laughter – Expression of Inner Joy, Part 1 of 3, Jun. 11, 2001, Florida, USA

OK. Now get up. I was going to continue to sleep, but because of your influence, so strong, I was afraid I’ll never wake up. So, you better wake up before I sleep forever. You [are] going? Tomorrow morning? (Yes.) And the one I gave the (vegan) candy to has already gone? No. Did you take (vegan) candy already? This afternoon? Or you sit here and want some more (vegan) candies? Took care already? A

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Shiva's 112 Ways of Concentration IV, Part 1 of 6

36:49

Shiva's 112 Ways of Concentration IV, Part 1 of 6

OK, I’ll see you later. (Yes.) You always surprise me. Hallo. Are you alright? (Yes.) Still many around here? (Yes.) Not bad. Oh, you’re still here and they told me you’re gone. This guy! Yeah, you. (Tomorrow morning.) You were invited, but you missed your chance. Perhaps you have learned the art of invisibility, we can’t find you. Too bad, just to let you know now. So your mouth can water. OK. I’

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Shiva's 112 Ways of Concentration III, Part 5 of 8

32:12

Shiva's 112 Ways of Concentration III, Part 5 of 8

A policeman caught a driver who drove so fast and exceeded the limit, and was writing down the ticket for him. So the driver said, “You don’t know who I am, that’s why. You don’t know. I am the chairman of the district, the representative here and we are having a meeting right now. And without me, the meeting cannot start. So please let me go quickly.” So the policeman said, “Yes, yes, I know, sir

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Shiva's 112 Ways of Concentration III, Part 4 of 8

29:55

Shiva's 112 Ways of Concentration III, Part 4 of 8

There was one lady who boasted about how marvelous her doctor was. She said, “Wow, my doctor is terrific. He can find out anything that’s wrong with you. No problem, doesn’t even talk to you and is checking so much. You should go and see my doctor there.” So the other lady said, “Why? But I’m healthy. I don’t need a doctor right now. I have nothing wrong with me. I have no sickness, nothing wrong.

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Shiva's 112 Ways of Concentration III, Part 3 of 8

33:07

Shiva's 112 Ways of Concentration III, Part 3 of 8

There was a teacher who was brought into custody because she drove too fast. Exceeded the limit, exceeded 90 kilometers per hour. It was not her turn yet, but she was trying to get ahead and she said to the judge, “Oh, please, please, you must understand, I am a teacher. I have to go back quickly to my class right now because I’m already late.” And the judge said, “Ha, beautiful! At last, I caught

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Shiva's 112 Ways of Concentration III, Part 2 of 8

32:05

Shiva's 112 Ways of Concentration III, Part 2 of 8

One more joke about an American. One time, there was a leader in Russia who met one of the leaders, maybe a minister of some kind. And then they talked about the economy. Both of the economy ministers met somewhere, maybe in Moscow or New York, who cares. And they talked about both countries. This is not political. It is very funny.And the Russian minister asked the American minister, “How much do

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Shiva's 112 Ways of Concentration III, Part 1 of 8

33:21

Shiva's 112 Ways of Concentration III, Part 1 of 8

Everybody [gets] half or what? Alright, [let’s see] if they have enough food for you. Not bad. Enough for everybody? (Yes.) If not, what do you do? You ask people. Right? You go in the kitchen and ask? (Yes. Yes.) OK. Help them. Because sometimes they eat more than they cook for themselves, they can never cook enough. Sometimes the food is good so you eat more of it, so you have to tell them if th

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Laugh Your Way to Heaven, Part 7 of 8

32:27

Laugh Your Way to Heaven, Part 7 of 8

One man said to the other, “I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know that her first name was Always.” “Always Right.” (“Always Right.”) She’s really happy, isn’t she? She laughs the loudest and laughs continuously at anything at all. I like happy people. Especially when she spends somebody else’s. Now I’ve learned the secret to being happy. All I do is just “look for a guy, you know, to be a succe

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Laugh Your Way to Heaven, Part 6 of 8

32:16

Laugh Your Way to Heaven, Part 6 of 8

A secondary school student asked his teacher if a person should be punished for something he had not done or not. “No,” said the teacher, “Of course not. Why should you be punished for something you haven’t done? You didn’t do it. Right?” So, the boy said, “Good. I haven’t done my homework.” (Excellent.)A husband was escorting his wife to a concert, and they arrived late. So… Oh, we already did th

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Laugh Your Way to Heaven, Part 5 of 8

32:54

Laugh Your Way to Heaven, Part 5 of 8

Oh, this is a private joke. Should I tell? (No.) (Yes.) It’s like bedroom joke stuff or something. Maybe not too polite or something. I forgot already anyway. I’ve just written here: “private.” So be warned. I read first and if I write “private,” that means something not very groovy. So if you want to hear it, I’ll read it to you. Two old women were sitting on a bench waiting for their bus. The bu

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Laugh Your Way to Heaven, Part 4 of 8

33:01

Laugh Your Way to Heaven, Part 4 of 8

Johnny has been to a birthday party, and knowing his weakness, his mother looked him straight in the eyes and said, “I hope you didn’t ask for a second piece of (vegan) cake.” So, Johnny said, “No, no, no, I didn’t. I only asked Mrs. Jones for the recipe so you could make some more like it at home. And she gave me two more pieces.”So clever. No need to ask anything, just say, “Wow, your (vegan) ca

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Laugh Your Way to Heaven, Part 3 of 8

31:02

Laugh Your Way to Heaven, Part 3 of 8

Are you OK? You need some (vegan) candy, whoever? She just plays like that so she can get that (vegan) candy. Why are you laughing now? (Because everybody’s got a cough.) Oh. Too bad, too bad. Too bad. No more (vegan) candies. I mean, no more of that kind of (vegan) candy. Oh, yeah, there’s some. You want some? (No.) You want one? (No.) In any case, not enough for everybody. So, might as well give

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Laugh Your Way to Heaven, Part 2 of 8, Dec. 28, 2007, Paris, France

33:30

Laugh Your Way to Heaven, Part 2 of 8, Dec. 28, 2007, Paris, France

Johnny, a boy, a schoolboy, heard that every adult has a secret, so if you say, “I tell you, I know the truth about the whole thing,” they will be shocked, and even if you know nothing at all, maybe they will tell you everything else. So after school, Johnny came home and told his mom, “Mom, I know all the truth about the whole thing.” So, the mother was very shocked and gave him a hundred dollars

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Live in Joy, Part 7 of 7, Dec. 28, 2007, Paris, France

31:58

Live in Joy, Part 7 of 7, Dec. 28, 2007, Paris, France

Should we finish it? (Yes.) Yeah? Can you still laugh? (Yes.) Or you’re too tired to laugh? (No.) No? OK. Does somebody need to go to the airport? No? (I think not.) Are you still OK? If you have to go, you go.A young man had been sitting in the drawing room [for] a long time, and it was getting late. Suddenly, the door opened and her (his girlfriend’s) father entered. He coughed a little bit, cle

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Live in Joy, Part 6 of 7, Dec. 28, 2007, Paris, France

33:12

Live in Joy, Part 6 of 7, Dec. 28, 2007, Paris, France

A guy said, “I haven’t slept for days.” And the second guy said: “How come?” The first guy said, “I only sleep at night.” Ha-ha-ha. Some joke. I don’t see any other jokes. Probably I went only up to there. So the rest I have to check out. OK? It cannot be that all these are not good jokes. Good, good. Next time, next time. We put it here. OK. So we know we’ve been there. Done that. Alright. We’ll

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Live in Joy, Part 5 of 7, Dec. 28, 2007, Paris, France

31:53

Live in Joy, Part 5 of 7, Dec. 28, 2007, Paris, France

A woman went into a shoe shop and said, “I would like a pair of alligator shoes.” So, the male salesman said, “Yes, ma’am. What size is your alligator?” You are so funny. I say, it’s OK, but I didn’t think it was that funny. And you’re laughing yourselves silly. I like that. Good audience, good audience.Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson were camping together. You know Sherlock Holmes? He’s a detectiv

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Live in Joy, Part 4 of 7, Dec. 28, 2007, Paris, France

30:38

Live in Joy, Part 4 of 7, Dec. 28, 2007, Paris, France

A surgeon advised a musician who played the violin that he would have to undergo an operation. The patient said, “But, Doc, I have concerts booked already. If you operate, can I be assured that I will be able to play the violin in two weeks’ time?” So the doctor said, “No problem, no problem. The last patient on whom I performed this operation was playing a harp within 24 hours.” No, I guess he ju

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Live in Joy, Part 3 of 7, Dec. 28, 2007, Paris, France

32:47

Live in Joy, Part 3 of 7, Dec. 28, 2007, Paris, France

There was a vampire bat(-person) –the bat(-person) who takes blood, I guess – came flapping from the night, and he was all covered in fresh blood, and he landed himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep. And soon, all the other bat(-people) smelled the blood and came and were hassling him about where he got it. He told them to bug off and let him get some sleep, but they would not leave hi

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