La Maestra racconta barzellette | Supreme Master Television

2025-09-16 718 Visualizzazioni

2025-09-16

“A husband and wife were watching a movie on the TV the other night where the wife hired a private detective to follow her husband to see if he was in fact cheating on her. So, the husband asked the wife if she would ever do that to him. And she said, ‘Yes, yes, of course I would, but not so much to find out who was the other woman, but to see if I could find out what she saw in you.’”“Three men w

The Laughing Saints, Part 3 of 11

32:47

The Laughing Saints, Part 3 of 11

2025-09-15 942 Visualizzazioni

2025-09-15

Hey. Ah, this is a bad thing for dog(-people). I don’t think they should eat this. Oh, maybe have a little of this, for fun. Oh, you’d eat anything; you don’t care. Here, Hap. Goody, you want some? Here, baby. Here. Here Goody. You like that? I don’t believe it. He spat it out. I knew you wouldn’t like it. Goody. He eats more healthy food. Here, Benny. You want to have fun? Go. Oh, everybody likes

The Laughing Saints, Part 2 of 11

29:18

The Laughing Saints, Part 2 of 11

2025-09-14 986 Visualizzazioni

2025-09-14

(So, the second number of our program today is our Indian brother that will tell some jokes for us.) (And make You laugh.) […] OK. Let’s hear some Indian songs. (Jokes.) Jokes? OK. The Indian people have jokes? Wow, I missed something when I was in India then. I never heard any jokes in India. I always heard something like, “hey” or “chalo.” (We tell jokes, and everybody’s laughing.) OK. Yeah.Come

Celebrating Vegan Moon Festival with Master, Part 2 of 7

30:56

Celebrating Vegan Moon Festival with Master, Part 2 of 7

2025-02-23 2835 Visualizzazioni

2025-02-23

A blind man was sitting on a park bench. A priest sat down next to him. The priest was chomping on a piece of waffle biscuit. Taking pity on the blind man, he took out another biscuit and gave it to the blind man. The blind man ran his fingers carefully over the surface of the biscuit and several minutes later, he turned around and tapped the priest on the shoulder and said to him. […]I have a jok

Love Is Stronger Than Ego, Part 6 of 8

28:21

Love Is Stronger Than Ego, Part 6 of 8

2024-05-26 4781 Visualizzazioni

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2024-05-26

A small girl was in church with her mother when she started feeling ill. “Mommy,” she said, “Can we leave now?” “No,” the mother said. “Well, I think I have to be sick.” “Then go out to the front door, around to the back of the church, and be sick behind a bush.” In about two minutes, the little girl returned to her seat. “Were you sick then?” her mother asked. “Yes,” the little girl replied. “Wel

Love Is Stronger Than Ego, Part 5 of 8

30:28

Love Is Stronger Than Ego, Part 5 of 8

2024-05-25 4687 Visualizzazioni

148

2024-05-25

When (Lord) Jesus was alive, He didn’t even have shoes. He had to hide everywhere, all the time. […] And then, after He died, look at how many churches we have. Empty; some are empty, some big and empty. […] We’d repair it. We’d pay for electricity, water, and food, and we’d repair. That’s the best way to use a church, right? Go and pray to God, meditate for mankind. But of course, we shall be pat

Enjoying Relaxing Time with Master, Part 3 of 4

30:37

Enjoying Relaxing Time with Master, Part 3 of 4

2024-04-06 4384 Visualizzazioni

125

2024-04-06

There was another doctor. […] So, one day, he was invited to come to a person who happened to shoot himself accidentally with an arrow while he was practicing archery. And he shot himself in his own leg. […] The arrow went deep inside and half stuck out and half was in the flesh. So the doctor came, took a knife, cut the outside half and then went home. And the patient, “Hey, hey, hey…!” […]OK, pe

The Holy Golden Mouse, Part 5 of 6

28:36

The Holy Golden Mouse, Part 5 of 6

2024-04-02 4057 Visualizzazioni

119

2024-04-02

OK, now! Let’s have some jokes. It’s some Aulacese (Vietnamese) jokes. […] Now, there was a Master, so-called Master. I don’t know, maybe a Supreme Master even. He was very virtuous, supposed to be, and also very clean, very pure, like you cannot offer anything to the Master, for example, otherwise, your ID card will be confiscated! […] So now, this Guru has a wife and kids and all that, and He is

The Holy Golden Mouse, Part 2 of 6

20:08

The Holy Golden Mouse, Part 2 of 6

2024-03-30 4439 Visualizzazioni

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2024-03-30

So, it’s not like you can bring as much Power as you want down here. You have to cover it, use the Light to cover. Just like you put things in a bag, the fragile things in a bag. […] You can’t just let it all hang out raw. Then everybody will get shocked and die too, or burned to a crisp, because of the electricity power. And God’s Power is zillions, thousands of zillions of thousands stronger tha

Master’s Sacrifices for Love, Part 10 of 10

28:41

Master’s Sacrifices for Love, Part 10 of 10

2024-01-27 4675 Visualizzazioni

117

2024-01-27

This Master Nasruddin, He was very “wicked.” He told a joke like this: One time, Nasruddin went into a neighbor’s garden, took one of the melons and put it in His bag. And then the neighbor came out and asked, “What is my melon doing in Your bag?” And Master Nasruddin said, “I was also asking the same question.”You know what? I take a rest because we cannot talk. Bon appétit (Good appetite)! (Bon

We Always Have to Appreciate What We Have, Part 11 of 12

34:34

We Always Have to Appreciate What We Have, Part 11 of 12

2023-12-22 4793 Visualizzazioni

120

2023-12-22

These days I feel so much love. I don’t know what to do with all this love. I don’t want to leave, myself. I don’t want to go home, myself. […] So much love, don’t need anything else. “All we need is love.” That’s what they say. God. It’s really true. It’s really true. Nice. It’s nice like this when you have many hundreds of people, but you feel like one. Feels like together[ness]. How come this t

Follow My Example and Assist Humankind, Part 10 of 14

39:57

Follow My Example and Assist Humankind, Part 10 of 14

2023-10-27 4271 Visualizzazioni

131

2023-10-27

So every (marriage) system is probably also according to the custom of the situation, of the land that they live in. It did not necessarily come from the order of the religion, of that religion. Probably at that time, everybody must marry, and marriage was very highly valued in their custom, so, if this order goes against the trend of society, they might not be able to survive.You have enough food

The Virtuous Essenes, Part 11 of 12

34:00

The Virtuous Essenes, Part 11 of 12

2023-05-07 4700 Visualizzazioni

122

2023-05-07

I guess we all run out of juice, huh? OK, guys, every party has to end someday. Today, you got everything. (Yes.) You have (non-alcoholic) champagne, you’ve got chips even, and you got magic tricks. (Thank You, Master.) Go home, sleep! Got everything, and a lot of food still. Let’s call it a day and continue the whole year, happy! (Yes.) Maybe we’ll see each other some other day.You, anymore? (Oh,

Begin the New Year with Positive Thinking, Part 12 of 12

28:19

Begin the New Year with Positive Thinking, Part 12 of 12

2023-01-25 4125 Visualizzazioni

2023-01-25

A priest, drove a car. “Zig-zag, zig-zag.” So the police saw and stopped it, and said, “Father, have you been drinking?” You know, the priest. So, he said, “No, no. I just drink water, in the back there.” And so, the police looked in the back and saw a bottle of wine, not water. A joke? (She’s got a joke.) You got a joke? OK. Chinese or English? (English.) Good. (The car Land Rover, always can fin

Begin the New Year with Positive Thinking, Part 11 of 12

29:48

Begin the New Year with Positive Thinking, Part 11 of 12

2023-01-24 4270 Visualizzazioni

2023-01-24

He heard something, “Bang! Bang! Boom!” upstairs, very loud. So he asked his friend, “Hey John, what’s going on up there?” So John said, “Ah, nothing wrong. It’s usual stuff!” He said, “What do you mean ‘usual’? Why is it so loud?” He said, “No, it’s just my mother dragging my father’s clothes across the floor.” So he said, “But why, if it’s just a pair of clothes, why so noisy?” He said, “Because

Begin the New Year with Positive Thinking, Part 10 of 12

33:07

Begin the New Year with Positive Thinking, Part 10 of 12

2023-01-23 4307 Visualizzazioni

2023-01-23

Anybody have some jokes? Nice stuff. Tell me, tell me. Yeah, we tell jokes for New Year. We laugh for New Year. It's the best. All the stupid miseries, we leave behind. (Yes.) We begin New Year only with good things! (Yes!) Only positive thinking! (Yes!) Positive talks! (Yes!) Positive thoughts! (Yes!) Positive action! (Yes!) Yeah! Yeah, help Master!There was a man who sat in front of a house on t

Begin the New Year with Positive Thinking, Part 9 of 12

33:37

Begin the New Year with Positive Thinking, Part 9 of 12

2023-01-22 4528 Visualizzazioni

102

2023-01-22

“Mint Condition.” Lady: “I have to return this carpet I bought from you last week. You assured me that it was in mint condition.” So the shopkeeper says, “And so it is, madam. Just look at that hole in the middle.” I don't understand it. (A mint has got a hole in it.) Mint, oh, OK. Mint condition. Oh, yeah, like a mint. Oh, English mints have a hole in the middle. There are many mints that don't h

Begin the New Year with Positive Thinking, Part 7 of 12

36:52

Begin the New Year with Positive Thinking, Part 7 of 12

2023-01-20 4656 Visualizzazioni

114

2023-01-20

There is a joke: Three men went to Heaven after death... brush up my German. Three men, dead, kaput, went to Heaven – foreigner German. Saint Peter asked them, “What do you want?” Each one was given a wish. The first man said, “In my last life, I was not so smart. In my next life, if I am reborn on Earth, I want to be smarter, say, a thousand times smarter.” [Saint] Peter said, “Alright. You lived

Selflessness and Humility, Part 2 of 12, Dec. 16-17, 2006

31:32

Selflessness and Humility, Part 2 of 12, Dec. 16-17, 2006

2022-12-28 6047 Visualizzazioni

127

2022-12-28

I know you have everything, but you want my half sandwich. Oh, maybe one day you will have it. Maybe. Just pray for world vegan, world peace, sincerely with me. (Yes, Master.) And one day your dream will come true. (Thank You, Master.) I tell you when you are wrong. (Yes, Master.) I praise you when you are right, equally. (Right. Yes.) Not because I like you or hate you, nothing. I’m just doing my

The United Spirit of the Ukrainian People Shines Before the World, Part 12 of 12

28:44

The United Spirit of the Ukrainian People Shines Before the World, Part 12 of 12

2022-05-11 4642 Visualizzazioni

113

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2022-05-11